Parents who make this simple mistake raise ‘mentally weak children,’ says psychiatrist: 'You are increasing your self-esteem by stealing theirs'

At times, it's beneficial to allow children to independently find solutions to their problems, and to experience the outcomes of their own choices.

The "Built Different" podcast, in an episode that aired on a Tuesday.

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When my daughter forgets her homework at home, nobody brings it to school for her. If she forgets her jacket on a cold day, even though her mom told her to bring it, nobody takes it to school for her," Amen said. "It's crucial that when a child says 'I'm bored,' instead of solving the problem for them, you just say 'What are you going to do about it?'

He said that when you do too much for your children, you're actually increasing your own self-esteem at the expense of theirs. He added that [humans] develop mental toughness by learning to solve problems on their own.

According to Barnard College child psychologist Tovah Klein, who spoke with Make It last year, harsh punishments aren't the way to go, and trying to protect children from disappointment also won't help them develop resilience.

You can let your kids face setbacks, mistakes, and difficult situations, while reassuring them that you're still there for them and that they're loved.

I see it as a more empathetic, caring approach. 'This might be tough, and I'll be here when you're done,' Klein said, adding: 'It's a message of: 'I believe in you to get through this difficult time, and I'll be here no matter what happens, whether you succeed, whether you fail, or somewhere in between. I'm here for you.'

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"He'd rather they figure out their own problems and solutions instead of getting overly involved in them," said Amen.

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